As a former insomniac, I know how it feels to walk around in a daze, unsure if you will ever sleep again. Regardless of how tired I was, I just could not sleep. On the rare occasion that I did fall asleep, I’d wake up in the early hours and be unable to fall asleep again. It was torture.
There were several periods in my life when sleep evaded me completely. Between these periods, my sleep was never great. I would take ages to fall asleep and never wake up feeling well-rested. I was always tired, which profoundly impacted my whole life. My mental health really suffered. I became self-centred, unable to make space in my busy mind for other people in my life, which affected my relationships with loved ones. I cancelled plans because I felt tired and then sat at home worrying about missing out. It ruled my whole life.
When my two children came along, I decided enough was enough. I didn’t want them growing up thinking their mother was miserable. I wanted to enjoy life and not have it ruled by a lack of sleep. So I took time to study, I read, and I read, and eventually I created my own protocol for sleeping. Here is a list of some of the changes that I made, and I truly hope that they can help someone else the way that they helped me.
I Prioritised Myself and Engaged in Wellness Practices
Having spent years in academia and then practising as a doctor, I was burned out. I then took time out of work and immediately started raising two small children, both of whom did not sleep well during their first year on this planet. Needless to say, my stress hormones had been firing away at a high level for years. I could not go on like this; I needed some rest!
Prioritising myself seemed selfish in the beginning. I could see that my children, my husband, the cats, the house, the (insert anything I own here…), all needed my attention. In truth, it is the opposite of selfish. You cannot pour from an empty cup and my cup had been empty for some time. I began taking time to participate in activities that would calm my mind and heal my body. I took up running, I started using a mindfulness app, and I even tried acupuncture. I won’t lie, I was sceptical about paying someone £50 an hour to stick needles in my face, but it really helped.
I Accepted That I Was a Morning Person…and Went to Bed Earlier!
Once I finally accepted that I was very much a ‘morning person’, my perspective on sleep shifted dramatically. Previously, I had been fighting to live how I perceived everyone else in my age group to be living, staying up late and lying in when I wanted to. In reality, however, I have never been one to be able to lie in, even prior to having two small children jump on me at 6 a.m. Even if I stay out until the early morning hours, my body is naturally set to wake up somewhere between 5.30 and 6.30 in the morning. I just woke up and feel extremely tired and grumpy, biding my time until the evening to get an early night.
There is some debate among academics about whether chronotypes actually exist. A chronotype refers to an individual’s natural disposition to feel alert or sleepy at different times of the day. We all have a circadian rhythm, which is a 24-hour cycle that regulates different bodily functions, including sleeping. Four chronotypes have been described: dolphin, wolf, lion, and bear. I will write a separate article explaining how you can work out your chronotype and use this information to supercharge your productivity and sleep.
I’ve also learnt that I need 7-8 hours of sleep to function properly the next day. Therefore, I have accepted that I need to start my bedtime routine (see below) around 9 p.m. This gives me time to wind down and fall asleep by 10 p.m. If I then wake up at 6 a.m., that is still a nice 8 hours of sleep.
Now, this does limit me. As a result, I rarely go out in the evenings, but this is also my preference. I enjoy being active earlier in the day. For example, I will wake up and go for a run first thing in the morning. I love getting home and putting my cosy clothes on and staying in; it’s how I have always been. This is just how I like to function; I’ve learned to accept and embrace it.
I Built a Bedtime Routine
I am someone who thrives on routine. My body and mind seem to enjoy knowing what is coming next. I find it comforting and it helps me relax. By building a bedtime routine, you can train yourself to fall asleep more easily. The sweet spot here is somewhere between 10 and 20 minutes. Too short and you won’t have sufficient time to relax, too long and you risk distraction, which will result in overstimulation.
For me, my routine involves removing any screens, setting up the white noise on the Alexa in my bedroom (I tend to choose rain sounds), a quick routine of skin and dental care before lying down to either read a book (physical copy rather than on a screen/e-reader) or listening to a meditation app (which admittedly is using my phone but I am not looking at it at this point). This takes me a total of around 20-25 minutes, and I can usually fall asleep about 10 minutes later.
I will follow this routine regardless of the time I end up going to bed as it prepares my mind for sleep. As mentioned previously, I tend to start this process around 9 p.m. but, if we have been out or the children are being difficult, it can sometimes get pushed back by an hour or two. At this point, it would be tempting to skip the routine to ‘save time,’ but the point of the routine is to fall asleep more easily. Every time I have had a late night and skipped the routine, it has taken me so much longer to fall asleep.
I Adjusted my Sleep Environment
Again, this can be considered a mindset shift, but I started treating my bedroom as a sanctuary. The bedroom should be used for two activities: sleep and sex. Any other activity, except for a few minutes for dressing/hair/make-up throughout the day, should not take place in the bedroom! The worst thing you could do for your sleep hygiene is to do something mentally stimulating in the bedroom. I see people with a desk in the corner of the room, so that they can work from home, and honestly, I cannot think of anything worse for your sleep quality.
Your bedroom should be as calming as possible. Remove anything related to working, screens, or bright lights from the room. Keep the room clean and tidy. Make the room as dark as possible at night. That may mean getting some blackout blinds. Any lighting in the room should be calming. Choose lights that emit red light rather than the stimulating blue light that you get from staring at a screen. If there is any issue with noise from traffic or neighbours, then consider using white noise. As I mentioned, I have an Alexa in the room and have it play rain sounds overnight.
We had been sleeping on the same memory foam pillows for a good five years, and I was beginning to suspect that they may have been contributing to my neck pain. We purchased new pillows (these ones here, I can highly recommend), and after the first night using them, my neck felt great. Investing in your sleep is so important, making sure that you have good quality bedding is a must.
Finally, temperature is a major factor in sleep quality. To fall asleep, our body temperature needs to drop by 1-2 degrees Celsius. Therefore, if the room is too hot, it will be difficult to drift off. Try keeping the window open at night or switching to a lighter blanket in the warmer months. People who really want to optimise their sleep can choose to have a cooling mattress which they can programme to change temperature throughout the night.
I Supported my Sleep with Supplements
The final step I took to improve my sleep was to use supplements. The biggest change I saw in my sleep was when I started taking Magnesium Glycinate. I had dabbled in taking magnesium in the past, but I had not looked into it in depth. I trusted that all magnesium supplements were the same, but as it happens, that is far from true. Magnesium supplementation is complicated! Therefore, I will not go into the details in this post; I will write a separate article outlining which magnesium supplements support which bodily functions.
Many people are deficient in magnesium without realising it due to the depletion of this mineral in our soils. We are simply not getting enough magnesium in our diet. This can manifest itself in many different ways within the body but poor sleep is one of them. Once I started supplementing, I found that I immediately felt a difference in the quality of my sleep. I was falling into a deeper sleep and waking feeling well-rested. Here is a link to the Nutrition Geeks Magnesium Supplement I take every evening before bed.
I also experimented with taking an adaptogen called Ashwagandha. Adaptogens are substances which aid the body’s response to stressors and help to maintain hormonal balance. Ashwagandha helps to reduce cortisol, a hormone which the body releases in response to stress. The result is a calming effect on the body which may promote improved sleep.
My experience with Ashwagandha was that I had a lot more REM sleep. I was waking up feeling tired as a result of extremely vivid dreams. I gave it a chance and ruled out other causes, such as hormonal changes during the menstrual cycle. After several weeks of taking it, however, I decided to stop. Adaptogens affect everyone differently, so if you are interested in taking Ashwagandha, then I would recommend doing some research on this supplement.
This will not be right for everybody. Supplementation of any kind should be used to support healthy habits, so it is the habit side of your sleep that you should focus on first. You should always consult with a healthcare professional before adding any supplement to your regimen. That being said, supplementation to support your sleep is something that you may wish to consider and may benefit from greatly.
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